Holiday? More like Hell.

I hate hate hate being away from Ryan for longer than a few days so sweating in a separate country from him for 14 days was more hell than holiday. There are few things I have good to say about my recent journey out of England and over the North Atlantic.

First off, I hate heat and I am madly in love with the rude citizens that walk on English ground and the miserable weather that matches every one's mood. It's a lot easier to keep warm than it is to cool down and my holiday only emphasized this fact. So, as you can see, flying off to a sunny island where everyone smiles and says hello is not my ideal getaway. And I had to endure all of this without the one person that keeps me sane.

My family are not people that take part in many activities so a majority of the holiday was spent poolside, burning because I barely go outside so my skin isn't used to the killer rays shooting down from the burning fire ball in the sky. Why anyone would choose to lay directly under it is beyond me. Not only this, I spent plenty of time, uncomfortable, red and peeved in the merciless heat, my legs look as brown as they would after a fifteen minute application of St Tropez.

Honesty, they had to be the worst two weeks of my life and I refuse to go back to that island. Apparently, Fuerteventura is Spanish for "Windy Island", well, let me tell you something, there was hardly a breeze during the day but at night, I thought the palm trees were going to come crashing through our apartment roof it was so strong, talk about bad timing for a cooling gush.

However, the food was a whole other story. I do not eat meat, like chicken and steak and so on, therefore, I cannot tell you anything about how juicy their medium rare is BUT Fuerteventura's fish dishes are to die for! I did my best to try all of the sea food they had on the menu, from swordfish too muscles to smoked salmon to a white fish that just falls apart in your mouth that I can't for the life of me remember the name of. I impatiently waited every day for half six when we went to the Retro Restaurant where they played live rock music from back in the day like Guns and Roses and Joan Jett or we would go into the old town and dine at one of the expensive restaurant's where I tasted the divine white boneless fish. The things that went into my stomach were the highlight of this holiday.

If you're into sun, sea, swimming and budget entertainment such as a lousy Blues Brothers tribute act and a five minute parrot show then Fuerteventura is a great place for you to visit and I wholeheartedly encourage you to board a plane for a four hour flight from England and dive straight into their crystal clear sea but if you're like me and prefer the hustle and bustle of English streets and the unnecessary downpours then I suggest you just take a trip to London or your closest capital.

Tell me about your bad holiday experiences on Twitter and/or Facebook, it'd be comforting to know I'm not the only one that put up with sticky weather and people trying to sell me bongos on every street corner.